Bon Voyage!

Things have been pretty busy lately with trying to get everything ready for our vacation.  So, I really haven’t had much time to come up with anything blog-worthy.  Plus it will be hard to top my last post.  But don’t fret, I should have some good pictures and stories when I get back.  Until then, here’s a miscellaneous link for your enjoyment.

What was I thinking?

I tried as hard as I could to think of more karaoke songs that I would have been better off not singing, but I could not come up with more than three.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I’m not a big risk taker in general, and that same approach applies to my karaoke song selections.  Generally I choose the safe ones that I know will sound decent, but every now and then, I venture out on a limb and try something a little bit different.  I mean, you can only hear so many ballads and Neil Diamond songs in a night!  So, here are the top three karaoke songs that didn’t quite work out for me.

3.  “Faith” by George Michael.  Yes, this song is on my top ten list of karaoke songs that I like to sing, but I do have a bad memory of the one and only time I performed it.  95% of the song was fine, but there are a couple parts that are a little high for my vocal range.  My voice was getting a little fatigued by the end of the song, and my voice totally flipped on the lyrics “…reconsider my foolish notion.”  You would have thought someone sat on a bird.  It was pretty bad.

2.  “She Drives me Crazy” by Fine Young Cannibals.  For some reason, I thought that singing a song in my falsetto was a good idea.  It definitely sounded a lot better in the car when I came up with the idea.  It wasn’t the worst performance of the night, but it was definitely below the standards I’ve set for myself.  I need to remind myself that karaoke and falsetto don’t mix, because I’ve given some serious thought to singing “Unchained Melody” by the Righteous Brothers, and Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You.”  I’m pretty sure if I ever sing those two, they’ll be prime candidates for this list.

1.  “Chocolate Salty Balls” by Chef*.  Fans of “Southpark” will be familiar with this tune.  It sits firmly at the top of my list of karaoke mistakes, and will probably never be de-throned.  Chef is voiced by the legendary Isaac Hayes, who has a very deep and soulful voice.  Actually, I can do a decent impression of his voice, and that’s why I thought singing this song would be a good idea.  So I get up there and start singing the risque lyrics of this song.  Suddenly it hit me that I really only know the first verse of this song!  (Lesson learned: make sure you know the whole song.)  I did my best to ad lib my way through the rest of the song, but I also forgot about how much worse the lyrics get as the song goes on.  (Lesson learned: make sure you know the whole song and especially all the lyrics.)  People stopped their conversations, and every eye in the room was on me.  Most of the people at this karaoke bar were middle-aged folks who had obviously never heard this song before.  Many of them were getting a good chuckle from the lyrics, but a few people had to pick their jaws up off the floor.  (Lesson learned: know your audience.)  I was thoroughly embarrassed, and so was Holly.  As soon as the song was over, I grabbed my coat and we headed right out the door.  Had Randy Jackson been in the room, I think he would have said, “Dog, what the heck were you thinking?” 

* The karaoke bar we were at is in a Holiday Inn.  They pipe the music from the karaoke bar into the dining room as well.  For that reason, I was not allowed to sing this song until 11PM, which is when the dining room closed.  However, the DJ decided to let me sing at 10:30.  Upon hearing my song, people from the dining room gathered in the doorway of the bar to see the idiot who was singing this crazy song.  I’ve never been so embarrassed.

 

Vacation

A week from today we’ll be in Tampa, Florida boarding the Carnival Inspiration for a five day cruise to Cozumel and Grand Cayman.  My parents very graciously volunteered to take Payton for the week, and he’s pretty excited to be staying at the farm with Grandma and Poppy.  We’re going on the cruise with two other couples who are good friends of ours.  It should be a great time.  We went on a cruise for our honeymoon almost seven years ago and had a blast.  In my opinion, there really aren’t many vacations that can top a cruise.

In Grand Cayman, we’re signed up to go snorkeling and swim with the sting-rays.  I’m really not very keen on the sting-ray part of the activity, but everyone we’ve talked to says that it’s awesome.  I always thought that STING-rays were dangerous and poisonous, but I’m told that unless you step on them, they are very placid.  You can be sure that if I end up with a big welt from a sting-ray, you’ll hear about it here. 

I’m still not sure what I’ll do in Cozumel yet.  They have deep-sea fishing available, and I would love to do that more than anything else.  However, when I checked into the times, the excursion ends thirty minutes after the ship leaves Cozumel.  Even though this excursion would be booked through the ship, and they say that they won’t leave until everyone is back on board, I really don’t feel very comfortable with that.  I’ll probably end up going with one of the other guys to see the Mayan ruins of Tulum.  Holly’s just going to go with one of the girls and snorkel again. 

One thing I’m going to do on the ship for sure is karaoke.  It’s a pretty safe bet that I’ll be singing one or more of the songs from my top ten list or karaoke songs.  That reminds me that I should do a list of karaoke songs that I’ve done, but probably would have been better off not doing.  I can only think of two off-hand, but I’m sure there are more if I really think about it.  Maybe Holly will help me come up with that list.  I’m sure she’ll remember the karaoke faux pas I’ve made better than me.  I might add to that list on the cruise too, but that’s not my goal. 

 

 

Those were the days

I got a note today from the bassist in our old band, Vicinity.  He mentioned that he dusted off his bass this past weekend for the first time in two years, and would be interested in a jam session.  That got me thinking about all the times, good and bad, that we had while in the band.  I have an archive on my computer of audio from most of our performances, some video, and lots of pictures as well.  So I spent a good hour tonight reminiscing about the old Vicinity days.  Here’s a fairly small video clip (~4.25MB) from what would end up being our final performance.  It might be cheesy, but that’s the only song we ever choreographed anything for.  (That’s me on the far right.  I had to really reduce the quality of this clip to make it practical for the web, so sorry for the low res.)  I could dig up more stuff if there is interest, so let me know. 

What to say?

I’m really struggling coming up with blog material now that a certain team from the windy city that starts with C and ends with hicago Bears is done on such a sour note.  Please add any suggestions for topics you’d like to see me write about. 

I did watch Serenity the other night.  It was a movie based on the FOX TV show, “Firefly” that didn’t even make it one full season.  The show had such a strong cult following that they made it into a full-blown movie.  I work with three of these loyal fans and listen to them rave about the show.  Frankly, after seeing the movie, I can understand why it was cancelled, but I bet it could find a home on the Sci-Fi Channel.  The movie wasn’t all that bad, but having not seen any of the TV show episodes, I didn’t really feel much of a connection to the characters.  A couple characters die at the end, and I thought to myself, “Was I supposed to somehow care?”  I think to fully appreciate this movie, you need to be a fan of the series and know the characters better.  

I’ve seen a lot of movies that are worse, but I really can’t see myself ever watching this movie a second time.  Even if I’m channel surfing and find it on Sci-Fi or USA, I probably won’t stop to watch it.  One a scale of one to ten, ten being the best, I give Serenity a 5.  However, I have to admit the movie was better than what it looked like in the trailers.  Based on the trailers, I would have given the movie a 2. 

In other news, William Shatner sold his kidney stone for $25,000 and gave the proceeds to charity.  Wow, I don’t know what to say. 

Have you ever read any of the questions in “Ask Yahoo?”  There is a good one today on how the planet, Uranus was named.  He he.

I don't smell anything

This should go down as the best invention of the year in my opinion.  A man in Iowa has invented a machine that will eliminate the odor from hog manure.  It’s basically just a big dryer that spins the manure around at a high speed and removes the water.  Just make sure you don’t use it to dry your clothes.  Anyone from the midwest knows that hog manure is one of the worst smells you can come across while driving through the country.  One whiff of the stuff can make your eyes water and sinuses burn.  The liquid manure is by far the most noxious, and commercial hog farms are by far the worst offenders due to the sheer number of hogs on the lot.  I hope they will be the first to start using this machine.  Bravo Mr. Balvanz. 

Superfan Kahn's Final Thoughts for the Season

Alas, all things must come to an end.  The Bears had a good season, and exceeded most people’s expectations.  So congratulations to the Chicago Bears for even making it into the playoffs.  I must admit I am really disappointed right now that the Bears didn’t win today, but I expect the Bears to be an early favorite next year to win the NFC North.  They already have 21 of the 22 starters under contract for next year.  Thank you Bears for the exciting season and giving me something to write about.  Here are some final thoughts for this season.

• Is Steve Smith really that good, or does he just look that good against the Bears?  I don’t understand how a known threat can get so wide open all the time.  If the defenders are falling down, that’s definitely the time where you tackle the receiver as you’re going down and accept the pass interference penalty, instead of the touchdown.
• Today’s game had the potential to get out of hand really fast, but credit the Bears for keeping it fairly close and allowing themselves to have a shot up to the final possession.
• The comparisons of this year’s defense to the ‘85 Bears can officially stop now.  After this game, it was clear that they are most like the 2001 Bears.  I sure hope the 2006 team isn’t like the 2002 Bears though.
• After a slow start, the Bears’ offense actually looked halfway decent.  21 points should be enough to win most games for the Bears.
• Even if the Bears would have won this game, there were so many injuries piling up that I think it would have been hard for them to win next week.

On a side note, can you believe some of the calls that were going the Colts’ way in their game against the Steelers?  I counted at least three botched calls that ended up going Indy’s way.  There was an obvious pass interference on Indy early in the game that didn’t get called.  Then there was a crazy non-call on something that should have been an off-sides or false start.  Finally, there was the huge reversal of the interception by Troy Polamalu that gave the Colts life toward the end of the game.  I swear the officials really wanted the Colts to win this game.  Even with all the help from the officials, and the Steelers at the end, it was fitting that Indy’s “idiot kicker” missed a very makable field goal that would have tied the game.  Even the supposed best teams lose early in the playoffs, so Bears fans, try to take comfort in that.